Jesus looked straight into the rich young man's soul and said, "I want you to give up the one thing that you crave more than Me."
This is a big thing for me. I crave lots of things, and food is one of them. Yes, I love the taste of certain foods, but I think my desire for food is there to cover up my desire for other things. I try to fill the void in me that constantly yells, "You don't fit in. You aren't good enough. You aren't pretty. You don't have friends. Nobody cares who you really are or how you really feel. You are alone."
So I try to fill these gaping wounds with a slab of brownies or a glob of ice cream or a second helping. And then I hate the way I feel physically and emotionally.
However, God says He is enough. He says I can trust Him to fill the voids. I can trust Him to be my everything. And when I crave Him more than anything else, then the everything else will not have control over me anymore.
Father, my head knows You are God. You say that You have a plan for me that is more amazing than I can even imagine to ask for. You say that You love me so much that You weren't willing to let me spend this life and eternity in Hell, so You gave Your Son Jesus to pay the price for me. I know those words, Lord, but I struggle to trust You for the total truth in them. I believe, but forgive me for not believing enough! So, I am going to step out on faith and believe that You have me, that You won't let me down, that You won't let me fall. Here it is, 100% right now. I am going to trust that with every bite that I don't eat, for every time I turn away from satisfying myself with food, for every step I DO take in exercise, You are filling the voids, closing up the gaping wounds in me. I choose to believe that You are going to fulfill your plan for me--and it is amazing!
Sabrina, God doesn't want us to "fit in"...He made us for better than that!! No, you're not pretty, you're beautiful! Yes, you do have friends, you are NOT alone and I for one do really care who you really are and how you really feel!! I want to get to know you better! Your words ring so familiar to me, you said them so perfectly. I struggle with filling the voids with food as well, especially late at night..when I want so badly to have a loving partner to be able to snuggle up beside. I think that's a big reason I stay up so late at night...facing that empty bed...so I snack and stay on the computer filling my time. I wake in the morning and tell myself that I won't do it again..but I do.... I will say this prayer with you and believe with you!! Hang in there and let's get through this together!!!
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