Monday, May 16, 2011

"A Bad Day Fishing is Better than a Great Day at Work"

What do you do when God has you in a place you really don't like?

You've heard that there are two kinds of people:  those who see the glass as half empty and those who see it as half full--referring, of course, to pessimists and optimists.  I never really fell into just one category; I fluctuated back and forth for most of my life.  Now, I definitely see myself as....ta-da...an optimist! 

That surprises me, honestly.  I spent most of my adult years feeling like I had a black cloud hanging over my head (or at the very least, hovering nearby).  Disappointment didn't disappoint me because I expected it.  Disaster?  I knew it would show up sooner or later.  The depressing events that did occur were my lot in life to deal with.  Woe is me.  Then, somewhere along the line (in the recent past), my view changed.  There was not a single "aha" moment for me, but more of a slow progressing to the point where I am today. 

Several years ago my mother-in-law sold the mult-level house she had lived in for some thirty years and purchased a new single-level home.  The process of culling a lifetime of accumulated goods seemed overwhelming for her, added to the fact that she had to  make so many decisions and now must decorate this new home.  It seemed, to her, as if she would never get it completed.  I, on the other hand, thought that this was a wonderful!  To get rid of the clutter that had piled up and to start over in a new home seemed to be the ideal dream!   I loved hearing every detail about this process each time I visited with her.  One day, she looked at me and said, "I told my friends that I had to start looking at this like my daughter-in-law does--as a 'grand adventure'".  I was flattered, and it led me to see that I had changed over the years.

Change scared me.  The status quo was safe, and that was what I wanted.  I had had three years of stress and change that I had no sayso about:  breast cancer--TWICE, chemotheraphy--TWICE, fear of dying--TWICE, with constant financial difficulties over that time period.  BUT, somewhere in the midst of that tremendous storm, I found a hint of joy...in the experiencing, in the newness, in the outcome of the trials.  And I began to see that LIFE was meant to be lived as a grand adventure.  Bit by bit, I changed, and I am so glad I did.

Not too long ago, I went through a difficult experience; my teaching ability had been called into question.  My name and my reputation were both at stake.  I was hurt, and I was angry.  I had been blindsided with this.  I wanted to lash out and exact payment for what had been dealt me.  Then at one point later that day, I prayed, "God, I just want to do what You want me to do.  I am angry, and I am hurt, but I want to glorify You in this.  I want to do what You want me to do."  Over the course of the weekend, the fury and the pain lessened.   Days passed; I was able to talk with the person who had attacked me without besmirching my label of Christian!  Just recently (last week), the same person came to me and remarked that my attitude and my professionalism were "simply amazing".  Wounds, deep wounds, had begun to heal.

God had me where I didn't want to be, but I was where HE wanted me.  You've heard the saying, "A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work".  For me, a difficult place with Jesus is always better than an easy place without Him.

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