Big Ego, Big Fall

There was a time when words poured out of me like water from a spout.  They were not my words, but words given to me by the Author of Life.   Words gushed from my pen, covering a page and then more, all the while filling my soul, feeding that part of me that was hungry for His touch.  This rain of Truth into my life encouraged me and filled me.  I, in turn, shared these words (now "my" words) with others so that they would minister to the wounded and encourage the downcast.  Slowly, almost imperceptibly, my ego began to grow.   My pride began to inflate.  My perspective began to change.  I started to look for man's approval, no longer wanting to share the writings for God's glory, but for my own sense of worth.  And the deluge of words from the Father that always quenched my spirit slowed to a soft rain,  trickled down to a  light drizzle.  Then it stopped altogether, becoming more than a dry spell.  I was immersed in a true drought. 

Proverbs 16:18 (The Message) says, "First pride, then the crash— the bigger the ego, the harder the fall."  And I had definitely crashed.  My ego had grown so large that it blocked my view of the Holy One.  I could not hear His Words, could not even process His written Word. 

"God can't stomach arrogance or pretense; believe me, he'll put those upstarts in their place."  Proverbs 16:5 cut to the heart of the issue.  It cut my heart, exposing the dark arrogance and forcing me to deal with it.  My words are nothing.  His words are LIFE.  These talents, skills, gifts I possess have nothing to do with me and everything to do with Him.  I did nothing to earn them but was blessed with them for a reason.  He gave me those talents so that whatever I write would draw the reader's heart to the Source of those words, to God Himself.  And unless He inspires and provides those words, that is all they are--mere words.  Empty words.  He is the One who breathes life into them.   He is the Author and Finisher of all.  And He alone deserves the recognition and praise.

Father, forgive my arrogance.  I want to be used by You for Your glory, for Your honor.  Root out and reveal those fleshly bits I hold so tightly that I may let them go and grab hold of You.